april♥asphyxia: Archive

used porn

 flipping through the porn section of FYE
 while shopping for more presents for people.
me: why is porn so damn expensive?
cassie: idk..
me: look why is the sailor moonXdragon ball z shit only 15 bucks and the bondage
 and bible black like 30?
cassie: .....
me: oh look heres some 12 dollar ones....but theyre really people.
 i need cartoon porn..
 -pause and thinks-
 do they have cheap used porn..?
cassie: USED?! ..ew.
me: do you think she'll like real people porn..? its only like 12 bucks..
cassie: i dont think you can buy her just ANY porn..
me: ...its AMANDA!
 -after a few mintues we walk away-
me: i feel the need to sanitize my hands
 ily amanda
 but youll have to wait till i get paid for good porn 
 as an addition to you xmas present.

Dec 29th

410 notes

Dec 28th

Dec 27th

Dec 26th

sigh. awesome cant wait to miss all the day after christmas sales while i work 1-5. i love my life.

Dec 26th

im so fucking bored. ive been stuck in my house for a god damn week but oh boy ill be getting out to go to a movie for an hour. joy. this shit sucks. people fucking phail. i rather be at work. i feel like ill be spending ALOT of my time playing Glory of the Roman Empire. since no one ever wants to fucking hang out anymore. fuck it.

Dec 25th

watching inglorious bastards and playing Glory of the Roman Empire. finished all my present opening. got some stuff i wanted. it was awkward though with my moms bf just sitting there watching tv.

Dec 25th

princecess: april-asphyxia: princecess: unitedkingdom: princecess: idk, worth the $35 yes, but I was surprised at how shaky the line work is from Eiko-Chan. /o\ it’s neat! but (no offense) 35$? i don’t think it was worth it ;__;;; lol None taken, idk, I mean it’s good, I just wish she listened a bit more to the refs. idk, better quality then other stuff I’ve paid for on DA. OTL the...

Dec 24th

7 notes

Dec 24th

7 notes

i realized a few things today

im amazing. i can time travel. i like beyonce songs better when they’re sung by chipmunks.

Dec 24th

work 11-3

do not want D: but at least after this i dont work till saturday. closing last night fucking sucked. we left an hour later than we were supposed to. phail.

Dec 23rd

you know your pathetic when… your mom comes in your room hands you money and says “there go get cigarettes. you look like youre gonna kill yourself.” finally she understands me.

Dec 22nd

I AM SO FAR PAST A BREAK DOWN!

Dec 22nd

god i fucking love my life. saw avatar. [[which was epic]] then i had to deal with stupid handicap people and people who dont know how to fucking drive then to top it all off i got locked outta my house and i have to go to work tonite when im in the middle of a breakdown. i cant take any of this anymore. im so sick and tired of my life. and having to deal with all this bullshit.

Dec 22nd

lol the nanny

c.c: ugh sorry it took me so long. theyre fumigating my appartment so i had to pack a bag.
niles: tsk theyve tried that before and you always come back.
c.c: -glare- anyways maxwell, its so difficult to find a hotel that takes dogs.
niles: did you promise you wont hump the bell boy's leg?

Dec 22nd

boob knees

benny: if i ever see that man again im gonna reach down his throat, pull out his stomache, stretch it out over his face, then PUNCH HIM IN HIS STOMACHE FACE!

george: careful! he might kick you in your boob knees.

Dec 22nd

“if i ever see that man again im gonna reach down his throat, pull out his...”

– bennita lopez, the george lopez show.

Dec 22nd

I WANT A GRILLED CHICKEN BURRITO AND MCDONALDS FRIES! DAMN MY MOTHER FOR TAKING THE CAR AND HER MONEY!

Dec 22nd

WHAT THE FUCK!

cassiieisazombie: april-asphyxia: as if my night wasnt bad enough tonites gossip girl is a MOTHER FUCKING RE-RUN! WHAT THE SHIT?! ASDFGHJKL AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -FLIPS TABLE- D: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. im just having a great fucking day. sigh.

Dec 22nd

WHAT THE FUCK!

as if my night wasnt bad enough tonites gossip girl is a MOTHER FUCKING RE-RUN! WHAT THE SHIT?! ASDFGHJKL AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! -FLIPS TABLE-

Dec 22nd

6,974 notes

i think i need cymbalta or something. i wish i had a tub of ice cream. or a big bowl of mac and cheez. or a life.

Dec 22nd

i love being home alone. its so depresing how my mom and brother have more of a life than i do. why am i so pathetic..?

Dec 22nd

i would kill to go to this →

Dec 22nd

as fun as going to target was i was hoping my night would consist of more than that.. i thought hey i dont have to work till seven so i can go out and have fun. dream big. i give up. sigh.

Dec 22nd

sigh. yay for another night of nothing. well my good mood was nice while it lasted. hello night of wallowing in my self pity.

Dec 21st

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuck

ive been home less than an hour. and my mood is slowly deteriorating. i hate being home. i need booze and cigarettes. i need out! -head desk-

Dec 21st

ugh. awesome. im about to leave for work soon and all my fucking stress is making me throw up. what an awesome addition to my day. and the best part is i have no one to talk to to get my mind off of things cause everyones piss cause im such a fucking bitch. god i hate my life. cant wait to deal with work. im slowly just breaking down. ASDFGHJKL! ;n;

Dec 21st

work. 11-4. bye.

Dec 21st